Wild Things.

So yesterday I got my first shot. !!!!. I went pretty fabulously, I think; it barely hurt at all, and I didn't even get slightly faint.

The immediate rush of being on T was a little intense, and I didn't quite feel normalized until this morning (a day later.) I felt like I was high on some strange drug, or, rather, an unfamiliar drug; the effects couldn't quite be classified as strange. I felt like my field of vision was a lot flatter, if that makes sense. I also just generally felt hyped up, but that's probably just my generally being hyped up about starting. I felt more productive (hence, perhaps, waiting until today to write in this blog on alleged work time.) I listened to a David Cross show and scrubbed the shower until it glistened.

But today I feel less rushy, though in a certain way almost imperceptibly different than I felt a few days ago. And even though I logically know that I won't probably see too many changes for another month or so, I have an irrational expectation that people will start calling me sir immedately and I'll wake up with a Sam Beam beard one of these mornings. And somehow now my general ambivalence about going this route has evaporated, at least temporarily. It's like jumping in a mountain lake: scary, but totally satisfying when you finally get in.

I'm just glad I'm starting now and not a few weeks ago, as I still want to be able to have a good hard feminine cry when I see "Where The Wild Things Are" tonight.

Also, an update on Summer the flirtatious and perhaps-hopeless-in-the-face-of-my-faggotiness barista: she stopped by my office and gave me some chakra crystals and her digits. I don't know what to do, but I will probably call her and see if she wants to go out and do something and lead her on like a jerk until I get too uncomfortable. Does it really count as being a jerk if you're confused about your sexual orientation? Moral quandary here, kids. Help a boy out.